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Jeremy's Ramblings, Babblings, and Other Pretentious Bullshit.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
 
OBSERVATIONS ABOUT SUMMER MOVIES:

"Batman Begins" - I wonder if during "Batman & Robin", Bruce Wayne remembered this important phase of his life and thought to himself, "When did my life turn into such a cartoon...and where's that cute brunette that talks out of the side of her mouth?"

"Star Wars - Episode III: Revenge of the Sith" - Did anyone in this galaxy know how to tell a freaking joke before Han Solo came along?

"Howl's Moving Castle" - I think anime voiceover is the truest test for an actor. No matter how good of an actor you are, there are just some lines you can't make sound good. Not even Christian Bale can say "Your hair is silver! I love it!" without getting laughs from the audience.

"War of the Worlds" - Huge alien ships rise from the ground after having been buried for presumably thousands of years. During that time, no archaeologist ever came across one of them, and there's no amount of rust or corrosion to the vehicles. The aliens obviously don't buy American.

"Kingdom of Heaven" - I can't think of a better film to kick off the summer season. After all, what better genre to reel in the core summer demographic than a really long R-rated film about the Crusades?

"Fantastic Four" - If I had the power to stretch like rubber, fly, light on fire or turn invisible, I doubt that I would treat it as simply a minor annoyance. But then again, I'm not a scientist. Oh, and I also blame Hollywood for giving me the belief that all female scientists are sexy.

"Bewitched" - You know you've stepped wrong when not even Will Ferrell and Steve Carrell can save your project.

"Mr. and Mrs. Smith" - I swear, if they make a sequel where they have a baby, I'm going to punch all of Hollywood in the stomach.

"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" - Deep Roy is my hero. And there has never been a more perfect cast of children in any movie I've seen.

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