Jeremy's Ramblings, Babblings, and Other Pretentious Bullshit.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Dress us up any way you like, men are still slovenly creatures that are only a few steps away from apes.

I am reminded of this fact every so often. Most often it is when bearing witness to drunken fights or public displays of affection (if there are two animal instincts that have successfully made the transition into civilization, they are anger and lust). But today I was reminded of our connection to less civilized species when I was in the men's room at my work this morning.

I entered one of the stalls to find that there was fecal matter not only in the bowl (something I've talked about in a previous post), but also on the seat, and scattered throughout the floor amidst toilet water. Doubtless the bowl overflowed, most likely due to an overabundance of toilet paper used. Needless to say, the look and the smell hit me like a multi-sensory wall of gross.

Throughout my work place, the men have styled hair, college level vocabularies, silk ties, suit jackets and flossed teeth. And yet in the restroom - a place where the practice of cleanliness should be at its most concentrated - I see paper towels strewn about the floor, soap spilled next to the sink, urine on the toilet seats and floors, unflushed bowls and unwashed hands.

So my question is this: Is it that hard to not be a neanderthal when you go to the bathroom? Having a weak bladder, I use the bathroom rather frequently. It's really not that difficult to stay clean. Wipe up any residue you may get on the toilet seat. Use only enough toilet paper to get the job done, and if you notice that you have to use a lot, flush twice. Wash your hands, cupping your hand under the soap dispenser so that you don't spill any of it. Dispose of paper towels into the proper trash cans.

These rules need to be shown to the seemingly cleancut men in this building. I've always been aware of the difference in how people look and how they act, but rarely has it disgusted me on such a literal level. The professionalism with which they conduct themselves in the workplace, and the primitive way they behave in the bathroom, is as startling of a juxtaposition as I've seen in a while.

This makes me wonder about the women's restroom. Granted, I have no way of knowing short of sneaking in a manner reminiscent of a junior high pervert, but since I have been told that women do not even fart in the bathroom (which I find rather sad. If they can't fart there, then where can they fart?), I doubt that it can possibly be as disgusting of a display as the men's room. Am I right?

Heh-Heh, Wait til you get married. You'll find out all about the ladies room...
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