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Jeremy's Ramblings, Babblings, and Other Pretentious Bullshit.
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
 
These are my favorite quotes from the past year in film. Try and see how many of these you know (It's fun AND educational...except for the educational part...and the fun part):

"I'm a hedonist. That means we like to have fun. I read it in an encyclopedia."

"You're not a bad person. You're a terrific person. You're my favorite person. But every once in a while, you can be a real cunt."

"No, if anyone orders Merlot, I'm leaving. I am NOT drinking any fucking Merlot!"

"So now I'm in deep trouble. I mean, one more jolt of this death ray and I'm an epitaph. Somehow I manage to find cover and what does Baron von Ruthless do? He starts monologuing! He starts this, like, prepared speech about how 'feeble' I am compared to him, how 'inevitable' my defeat is, how 'the world will soon be his', yadda yadda yadda. Yammering! I mean, the guy has me on a platter and he won't shut up!"

"Boom, boom, boom, boom. What film?"

"Doggie fart, gladdens my heart."

"I invented masturbation."

"Professor Kettleburn, our Care of Magical Creatures teacher for many years, has decided to retire in order to spend more time with his remaining limbs."

"She's drunk!"

"Behave yourself, will ya? Go find real work."

"No, I shot him. The bullets and the fall killed him."

"Thank you, thank you for honesty. Now fuck off and die, you miserable old slag!"

"Yeah, it's kind of itchy. And it rides up in the crotch a little bit, too."

"That's why whenever I drive by McDonald's with my kid, I'm gonna punch him in the face."

"I heard their period attracts bears. They can smell the menstruation."

"By the way, it says 'balls' on your face."

"Cat nip."

"...and yes, I will dance with you on your wedding day."

"She's right next to you."

"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, ok, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."

"Your MOM goes to college!"

"I am scared of...ghosts."

"Can I say no?"

"Oh, crap."

"They'll be performing what I can only assume is a hymn. From the show 'Sweeney Todd', 'God, That's Good'."

"I'm making a birdhouse."

"Please be cancer, please be cancer, please be cancer..."

"I'm in my tree, I'm talking to the Dixie Chicks and they're making me feel better."

And my favorite quote of 2004...

"Show me all the blueprints show me all the blueprints show me all the blueprints show me all the blueprints show me all the blueprints show me all the blueprints show me all the blueprints show me all the blueprints..."

Comments:
Okay, it's killing me now. I've extinguished all my lifelines and even called in my movie quotes gurus (with the exception of yourself), and I can't seem to figure out the origin of each quote. PLEASE, oh Blogging Quotatious One, grant me my wish and provide me with the answers.... PS "I don't want anybody else, and when I think about you I....."
 
Okay, in order:

* "Bad Education"

* "Kill Bill, Vol. 2"

* "Sideways"

* "The Incredibles"

* "The Dreamers"

* "A Very Long Engagement"

* "Kinsey"

* "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban"

* "Shaun of the Dead"

* "Fahrenheit 9/11"

* "Collateral"

* "Closer"

* "Spiderman 2"

* "Super Size Me"

* "Anchorman"

* "Garden State"

* "Shrek 2"

* "The Village"

* "The Bourne Supremacy"

* "Mean Girls"

* "Napoleon Dynamite"

* "The Terminal"

* "Coffee & Cigarettes"

* "Hellboy"

* "Jersey Girl"

* "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"

* "Saved!"

* "I Heart Huckabees"

And finally...

"The Aviator"
 
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