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Jeremy's Ramblings, Babblings, and Other Pretentious Bullshit.
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
 
Happy sixth year of the decade, everyone! My resolutions this year are to be more involved backstage in theater, to have a piece that I wrote performed on stage (as is my resolution every year) and to stop investing in the tired tradition of making resolutions at New Year's. Anyway, on to business...

* Did you know that there's an Idaho Anti-Wolf Coalition? Oh, yeah, it exists. Apparently, the Federal Government is considering taking wolves off the Endangered Species List, which has several environmentalists and animal rights advocates worried that they (the wolves, not the environmentalists) will soon be wiped out, since their numbers are still rather small.

However, one group that is excited about this is, that's right, the Idaho Anti-Wolf Coalition, who do not like seeing wolves eat deer and livestock (apparently, we're the only species that is allowed to eat other animals). Ron Gillett, who heads the coalition gave this quote to NPR regarding the environmentalists who oppose the killing of wolves: "We've had it. We don't put up with these people anymore. And anybody that gets in our way, we'll leave footprints up and down their back, and you can take that any way you want."

Okay, there's three jokes that immediately come to mind for this coalition. Take your pick which one you like...

1). Do you think the wolves have an Idaho Anti-Redneck Bastard Coalition?
2). Is "Little Red Riding Hood" the Coalition's Book of Genesis?
3). Does their anti-wolf credo extend to Lon Chaney, Jr.?

* It was decided that the Anaheim Angels, World Series champions and the pride and joy of my little town (300,000 population), are going to be renamed the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. This is being done in an effort to attract more Los Angeles fans to the team.

This is one of those examples where a moron is surrounded by more morons, and somehow a really absurd idea manages to come to fruition. The name is awkward and clumsy (try saying "The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim" three times fast). It is untrue, since the Angels have nothing to do with Los Angeles (for those who don't know, Anaheim is part of "the O.C.", and is separated from Los Angeles by about 25 miles and a county line). And most of all, LOS ANGELES ALREADY HAS A FRICKIN' BASEBALL TEAM!!! Have you already forgotten about the Dodgers? I know you want to deny their existence (who can blame you), but how selfish can you get? You already have two basketball teams, now you need two baseball teams? Are you really that greedy?

I think we should do this to everything now. Don't forget that we have a hockey team. They could be the San Fernando Valley Mighty Ducks of Anaheim. We should also have the Albany Yankees of New York and the Oakland Giants of San Francisco.

I'm not even a big fan of the Angels (except for when they're winning, which is not often), but it is a source of pride for me to live in a city that has, amongst its many offerings, World Series champions and Stanley Cup finalists. And I don't like a city that already has its fair share of sports teams (not to mention almost the entire motion picture industry, Theater Row and several wonderful concert venues) trying to lay claim on it.

* I saw Pedro Almodovar's "Bad Education" a couple of days ago. It is definitely one of the best films that I have seen in the past year. It is a funny, painful and brutal look at the reunion of two men who were in love with each other when they went to the same boys school, and how an affair with a priest at the school changed their lives. It features a genuinely surprising plot, assured and stylish direction from Almodovar, and a great central performance from Gael Garcia Bernal (who looks great in drag, by the way).

The film - along with almost all of Almodovar's films - reminded me that, although I am a straight man, I have an obsession with gay culture. Growing up in a drama background, I have had several gay friends since I was very young. Upon getting to know them, I started becoming fascinated with their culture, which has faced a great deal of persecution and discrimination over the years.

It is a world of sad, beautiful women. Chisel-bodied men. Special clubs. Weepy ballads. Footlights and makeup. Living fast and dying young. Confused childhoods and disappointed parents. It is a world that I am familiar with, though only as an observer. Nevertheless, it's a culture with phenomenally good taste, and I have no qualms educating myself in it.

I was never "One of the Guys" at my school, and though I have always liked women, I've never had a masculine nature (five years of jazz dance training and a couple of Sondheim albums will do that to you). Fortunately, my gay friends, without them even knowing it, showed me that I shouldn't try to change what other people will think of me.

Now I am secure in the fact that I am thinner than most women that I meet. That I tour jete better than I can bench press. That before I could name five famous athletes from any one sport, I could name every Oscar winner for Best Picture (from "Wings" to "Lord of the Rings: Return of the King"), five famous Broadway musical actors (Bernadette Peters, Harvey Fierstein, Susan Egan, Roger Bart and Idina Menzel) and AT LEAST ten shows currently playing on Broadway ("Avenue Q", "Democracy", "Phantom of the Opera", "Rent", "Twelve Angry Men", "The Producers", "La Cage Aux Folles", "Hairspray", "Wicked", "The Lion King").

I always look up to these guys who from minute one of meeting them I know are gay. They didn't just come out of the closet, they leapt out. I'll meet them while doing shows, and during downtime they'll practice their pirouettes and stand on their toes. Nearly everything they say is funny, and they always look stylish. I'm extremely happy with who I turned out to be, but just for a moment, I want to be in their dance shoes.

But I guess the next best thing is to watch my copy of "Cabaret" and listen to Rufus Wainwright's "Want Two". Oh, and wait for the next film from Almodovar.

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