Jeremy's Ramblings, Babblings, and Other Pretentious Bullshit.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
How come our society is so obsessed with the "New"? What ever happened to fixing a minor defect rather than throwing the whole thing away and buying a new one?

I have a keyboard at my work desk that has served me well for almost two years now. Every key works, and I like the feel of the keys (that may seem weird, and perhaps it is, but I type 100 words per minute, and that kind of thing is important to me).

However, one of the legs on the keyboard broke off. Just a small piece of plastic. So I put a Sobe cap under that part of the keyboard, and there's been nary a wobble from it since. This was a couple of months ago.

Today, one of my coworkers comes over and makes a big deal about it, asking me why I don't ask for a new keyboard. I answer that I don't need one, seeing as this one works just fine, but he doesn't even listen to me as he continues to tease me about it.

A couple of hours later, he comes back, because apparently one talk about getting a new keyboard isn't enough for him. There is a battle in Fallujah, Yasser Arafat is dying, John Ashcroft is resigning from his position, and the most pressing issue for this guy is the broken leg on a keyboard that only I use. While talking to me about it (and by talking to me, I mean him talking and me shrugging and saying, "I'm fine with it") an administrative assistant walks by. He flags her down and requests that I get a new keyboard.

Fine, conflict resolved. The keyboard will be replaced. But then an hour later, I pass by his desk and he inquires about the keyboard. For a third time. Need I remind you that all of this fuss is over a small piece of plastic that disappeared two months ago. He proceeds to tell the woman sitting next to him about my keyboard.

And she starts laughing!

Her first response is just pure unbridled laughter. Now I don't have high standards for comedy. I find several things very funny. But really I fail to see why a drink lid placed under a keyboard would inspire such an unapologetic response. She turns to me and says through the laughter, "So, you're ghetto now, huh?"

Is that what this is all about? That I've apparently become "ghetto"? Well, here's a bit of shocking news. Take a look at me. Both my work shirt and my slacks are missing buttons, my hair hasn't been cut since May, I'm wearing the same wrist watch I wore in junior high, my work shoes have holes in them, my computer is from 2000, and I play old Nintendo and Sega Genesis games. I've been ghetto for a loooong time.

So now I'm going to embrace my ghetto label. Apparently, not lighting cigars with hundred dollar bills makes me this way. My desire to not waste money must mean that I have none to waste. Because surely if I had the money, then I would buy a new shirt, upgrade my computer, get a Gamecube and a haircut, and oh yeah, replace my keyboard.

Here's why I haven't done those things: I...don't...care! My shirt is wearable, the shoes are comfortable, the watch tells time, Tetris and Sonic the Hedgehog are still two of the greatest video games ever, and most importantly, the keyboard doesn't wobble when I type on it.

I refuse to show off my income, and I refuse to go out and "buy another one" when the original one can be fixed. I don't care if there's drink lids under my keyboard and duct tape on my shower rod. Hell, I'm proud to have those. So come to me if there's a real problem from now on.

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