Jeremy's Ramblings, Babblings, and Other Pretentious Bullshit.
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Apparently, hypnotherapy is the solution to everything. I've been listening to Air America Radio, the liberal syndicated talk radio station (because "President" Bush and his Administration are a corporation of lying, thieving demons...Ahem, excuse me), and there are a series of commercials from Wendi Friesen, who is a proclaimed hypnotherapist.

Ms. Friesen claims that hypnotherapy can cure...well, whatcha got? As of this writing, I have heard no less than five different commercials from Ms. Friesen, each addressing an issue that can be cured by hypnotherapy. They are, in order of my hearing them:

1). It will help you to stop procrastinating. Hypnotherapy will make you WANT to get things done and put an end to your laziness (if you need to buy this, when will you get around to it?).

2). It will, like everything does nowadays, help you lose weight and keep it off. Hypnotherapy gives you the drive to take those pounds off (if you've tried everything else, and you feel you have to rely on hypnotherapy to lose weight, just give up).

3). It will help you become a better speaker, which will lead to promotions at work, more friends and a better sex drive (as an actor and writer, I can tell you that speaking well does not guarantee getting sex).

4). It will rejuvenate you, by somehow giving you the feeling of a full night's sleep in a five-minute nap (this one has piqued my curiosity. Not enough to actually buy it, though).

5). It will help you with your depression. Hypnotherapy will make your suicidal tendencies disappear (until you get your bank statement showing the money you lost buying hypnotherapy CD's).

All of these can be cured by buying Ms. Friesen's hypnotherapy CD's. Unfortunately, it's five different sets of CD's that you have to buy. If she could cure all of this in one set, I'd be much more impressed. I told my sister about these sets, and she proposed what Ms. Friesen says to make you change your ways:

1). "Get off your ass...Get off your ass...Get off your ass..."

2). "Stop eating...Stop eating...Stop eating..."

3). "Don't be nervous...Don't be nervous...Don't be nervous..."

4). "Go to sleep...Go to sleep...Go to sleep..."

5). "Cheer up...Cheer up...Cheer up..."

This is the perfect example of our solve-problems-now-through-unconventional-methods society. We can't simply be more motivated, eat less, take a speech class, get more sleep and take into account the worse lives that people have in other parts of the world. We need someone to hypnotize us to do these things. That is, assuming that those CD's actually work.

In other news, I'm wearing dirty laundry and I'm having gastrointestinal problems. I wish there was a hypnotherapist CD to make me stop smelling.

Stop Wendi, The Hypno-Huckster; She’s Deceiving Cancer VictimsBy Saying Hypnosis Might Heal Them

Hi: My name is David Mark. I am a resident of Maplewood, N.J. I am also a leukemia survivor, thanks to an adult stem cell transplant at Hackensack University Medical Center in 2001.

That said, I am asking you and your readers to take a closer look at wendi.com. Wendi Friesen, a hypnotherapist (not a doctor) promotes on her web site a product called "Heal Your Body," which is "designed for those with cancer" and, she claims, "stimulates your immune system to fight and some say ... creates miracles."

Friesen is not advertising this product as part of a greater wellness program for cancer patients seeking help from a doctor. She is pitching this product as an alternative to a doctor's visit, mammogram, biopsy, chemotherapy, etc. That's not only bad advice, it's potentially fatal advice.

Wendi.com advertises on Air America Radio. I'm asking people to call Air America (646-274-4900), and reach either advertising representative Barbara Brown or East Coast advertising manager Leon Clark. Air America preaches that an educated society and an honest and transparent leadership can make this a better nation. But Wendi.com is dishonest, and counts on an uneducated society to lift its sales.

I'm not trying to put anyone out of business. But Air America can do better than take advertising from this repugnant huckster. At the very least, Air America should demand that Friesen stop selling the "Heal Your Body" CD, or change the pitch (and probably the CD itself) to promote it ONLY as part of a wellness program that includes seeing a doctor and following a traditional cancer-treatment plan.

Phone calls from enough concerned citizens can make a difference.

If you are a client of wendi.com, please consider returning your products, and/or calling the company and asking them to be responsible.

David R. Mark
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