Jeremy's Ramblings, Babblings, and Other Pretentious Bullshit.
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Toward the bathroom door goes a young man who, through years of self-training, gives off an image filled with contradiction. He walks with the swagger of a Hollywood celebrity, all cool and confident. However, neither his looks nor his personality reflect the ego of his stride, a fact that has been pointed out to him several times.

His hair gives the look of being brushed seven hours ago, which it was, and his wardrobe reflects an indifference toward any sort of fashion trend or style. He often gets nervous in new situations, which he demonstrates to the masses through excessive fiddling with his watchband. He strains to be a model of decency, morality, modesty and caring. While he may not always achieve this, he has always at least seriously considered using those virtues.

Still, the connection of his chin to his neck make a 105 degree angle and his steps hit the ground without exercising too much hesitation or too much volume. This contradictory walk lies on such a fragile plane that the smallest bit of conflict thrown his way will obliterate any facade he is attempting to maintain, and his true manner will be revealed.

This very event happens as he reaches the bathroom door. Gripping his hand around its brass stick of a knob, he pushes down until he hears what he believes is the click of the latch clearing the way for a smooth entrance. Using his other hand, he presses against the door firmly.

However, the latch - while pulled most of the way - does not quite complete its journey, and the door does not open. The comprehension of this is not as fast as the momentum propelling his body forward, and he slams against the wood of the door, uttering a shocked "Ohp!"

Pushing the knob harder, he hears a louder, more definitive snap that lets him know it is now safe to proceed through this door of deceit. Upon entering, he is greeted by another man, drying his hands with two paper towels. He heard the accident - how could he not - and was both looking at this young man to see who had actually done such an embarrassing deed, and attempting not to look at him as a feeble method of avoiding any sort of confrontation.

It does not help that this man seems to represent, in look, everything that the young man does not practice. The hair is perfectly formed, as if in a deep sleep. The clothes are neatly pressed, and the choice of tie is a pattern that is both striking without being distracting or out of place.

The young man again tries to be the pinnacle of decency, and seeing that the man is drying his hands - often the last step in a trip to the bathroom - holds the door open for his subsequent exit. A half-second passes and the man says nothing, but continues to look/not look. The young man suddenly realizes there is more drying of hands that is to be done, and he lets the door close behind him as he proceeds, eyes down on the ground, shoulders slumped, steps quiet, to the nearest urinal.

The look that was given by the man suggested utter confusion. And why not? He sees a somewhat disheveled young man run into a door, enter through it, freeze for a brief moment fixing a stare at him, and then proceed to a urinal. It's not even a moment that can be taken the wrong way, because there's no possible way to take a moment like that.

The man leaves and the young man's evacuation goes without a hitch. No liquid, water or otherwise, is spilled on his pants. The door opens with more ease exiting than it had entering. This makes the young man happy since he had enough embarrassment in the last two minutes.

His walk completely morphed into a style more indicative of his true character, the young man returns to his seat, wondering why he has so many moments like that in his life.

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