Jeremy's Ramblings, Babblings, and Other Pretentious Bullshit.
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
Driving back from a rehearsal yesterday, I was behind a car that had religious stickers on the back. Now I don't usually have a problem with them. For example, there was one that said "Powered by Jesus", which is fine (although I highly doubt that Jesus is under the hood of the car. That would be a pretty crappy way to use the Messiah. I mean, c'mon, he didn't walk on the water just so he could power your car. Unless Jesus is a hemi engine. Perhaps I missed that part of the Bible that said, "And Mary thence gave birth of a hemi engine").

But there was a sticker next to it that said - and I'm not making this up - "Jesus is Da Bomb". I'm sorry, I'm sure even Jesus would say, "Dude, that is so 1992." You don't see other religions doing that. I've never seen, "Buddha Is My Mack Daddy" or "Allah's Got Da Bling-Bling" or "Satan, Fo Shizzle!" nor have I seen license plate frames that say "My Other Vehicle Is An Out-Of-Body Experience" or "I'd Rather Be On A Self-Guided Quest For Spiritual Enlightenment". Only Christianity.

In other news (what a transition, and relative to the next topic, too. Damn, I'm good!), the only television I watch on a regular basis is the morning news as I'm getting ready for work, mainly to see the traffic report and figure out which way I should go to work (one of the nice things about Southern California is that there are several different freeways to take to get to your destination. So much choice, I sometimes don't know what to do).

So this morning, I was wrapping my tie around my neck, and I was struck by the way the traffic reporter said "fatal accident". It was so matter-of-fact and nonchalant. That's when I realized that the traffic reporters are my favorite of all of the reporters, because they are the least fake and the least manipulative.

Most reporters couldn't give two shits about whether or not someone died. They're surrounded by stories about death every day, and a certain degree of indifference is needed to keep you from breaking down on air every day. However, with the mention of death, the reporters switch to more somber tones, expressing their concise and short-lived grief before going into a story about a dog that can do basic math.

But traffic reporters are different. They only report a death as a way of letting you know to avoid that freeway. It's done with the enthusiasm of a coroner, an indifference that almost borders on disrespect. Like all of the other reporters, they don't care that somebody died, but unlike all of the other reporters, they don't sound like they care.

So hats off to the traffic reporters for keepin' it real.

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